Are you giving out the wrong messages?

I’ve been reminded of a phrase this week for a variety of reasons and as a result of numerous conversations. There’s definitely been a theme emerging!

The phrase is this: ‘You teach others how to treat you’.

It’s a bit of a variation on the theme of ‘treat others as you would like to be treated yourself’:

Here’s what I mean:

• If I want you to trust me, I have to demonstrate trustworthiness;
• If I want to be respected, I have to respect myself and respect you;
• If I want you to value what I bring, I have to value myself, value what I bring AND value what you bring.

Some time ago, I worked with a wonderful lady who was the team comedian. Which is all very well, but she wanted a promotion and nobody could imagine her in a more senior position – after all, she was the team joker and they couldn’t always take her seriously! She eventually had to leave the organisation and re-invent herself in a new role – (not losing her humour and sense of fun of course – just dialling it down a little!)

Years ago, when I first set up my business I was so desperate to be liked by my clients (never a good thing in a coach!) that I charged too little, did way too much and valued their time but not mine. Well, I taught them that that was okay!

So how do you want to be treated?

And what do you need to stop or start doing to make it happen?