How to be assertive with the ‘disruptors’
They exist in every organisation.
The people who just won’t shut up.
Who bang on and moan about the same old things without actually doing anything to change them.
Because it’s ‘not their fault.’
The nicely brought-up version of you won’t interrupt them because ‘it’s rude’.
The angry version of you will tell them to shut up – or worse.
Neither of these options changes much in the long term.
So what to do?
Use or tweak this four-step process:
- First, seek to understand. ‘I see you feel strongly about this.’
- Acknowledge their concerns ‘I know we’ve been waiting for a decision for a long time – I get how frustrating this is.’
- Agree on an interim strategy/option: ‘While we’re waiting, where might we/you usefully focus our/your energy?
- Set expectations for the future: ‘I want to agree some ways we can debate/discuss these challenging issues in a solution-focused, collaborative way. Would you be up for that?’
Why this works
1. We all want to be heard and acknowledged. (That doesn’t mean we have to agree with the message or how it’s delivered. ‘I see you feel strongly’ does not ‘assume’ you know how they feel. You might see angry, they feel upset.)
2. It focuses on what we can do, not what we can’t do.
3. It sets the scene for working more collaboratively. If you’re the leader of said disruptor, you can clarify your expectations around what is acceptable behaviourally and what isn’t.
Here’s to your success!